- Why did the elephant paint his toe nails pink?
- To hide in a strawberry patch.
- Did you ever see an elephant hiding in a strawberry patch?
- See how good it works?
you mama's so dumb so got hit by a parked car.
two flies are sitting on a piece of shit; one of them farts; the other one says "hey do you mind, I'm trying to eat here"
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Grandma & Grandpa are sitting on the porch, when all of a sudden Grandma slaps Grandpa.
"That's for 50 years of the worst sex I've ever had."
They're both silent for ten minutes. Then Grandpa slaps Grandma.
"That's for knowin' the difference."
Yo mama's underwear is so crusty she put Betty Crocker out of business.
Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
A: Mule-tide greetings.