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Ratings Legend
 5=Hysterical
 4=Damn Good
 3=Funny
 2=So-so
 1=Blows
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  Mike Birbiglia: E at the Club

This girl offered me E at the club. She's like, 'You gotta do E. It helps you feel the music.' I was like, 'I don't even like this music. I don't really want to take the next step.'


  Bob Oschack: Teen Pop Stars

A song can't have any soul if it was written during study hall.


  Bill Santiago: Thank You, Ricky Martin

We've gone far ever since Ricky Martin. Thank you, Ricky. Who would have thought all you had to do to make Latin music so popular is just take out all the Latin music.


  James Stephens III: N.W.A. Concert

I was at one of those N.W.A. concerts. A long time ago, man, they were rough. You go to that concert, and you have to wear, like, a bullet proof vest. That's just for the language.


  Howard Kremer: Rap and Country Bragging

Some rap and some country is just people with no schooling talking about exactly what happened to them that day. That's all it is. In country, it's like, 'I woke up, something bad happened, I got drunk.' You know, it's usually something like that. Rap's the same thing. They just brag more: 'I woke up. Y'all can't wake up like me. I wake up like 10 motherf**kers. That sh*t in my eyes is diamonds. I get up to pee -- it's liquid gold.'


  Robin Montague: On En Vogue

It took four En Vogue to make one Aretha song.


  Retta: Love Classical Music

I love classical music. Don't get me wrong -- I'm still black -- I still kick up the bass and pump up the volume.


  Dwayne Kennedy: White Folks Love Black Culture

Everybody's into rap. White folks love rap, right? Rap, rock, blues... White folks love everything about black culture, except the blacks.


  Darren Carter: Before Eminem

I used to be a rapper. I used to rap way before Eminem. They called me Skittles.


  Craig Baldo: Numerical Rock Block

I was listening to the radio today, and at one point, the deejay, he says: 'In that rock block we just heard Matchbox Twenty, 311, Three Doors Down and Seven Mary Three. Coming up we got Blink 182, Sum 41, Eve Seven, and D12.' I'm like, 'Bingo!'



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Random Joke:

Cathy Ladman: Deer in Headlights

My father drives so slowly. When deer see my father's car approaching, they linger.




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