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I get the worst compliments all the time. 'Oh you're Asian? I love orange chicken.'
Proof that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.
Proof that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
Proof that Jesus was Puerto Rican:
1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was bilingual.
3. He was harassed by the authorities.
Proof that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trade.
Proof that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everybody "brother."
2. He liked gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
Irish Eats Italian
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?
A: Gaelic breath.
If a Korean Broke Into Your House
Q: How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?
A: Your dog is missing, and your homework is done.
Christopher Titus: Not White Anymore
I don't tell people I'm white anymore -- I'm albino-Cambodian.
What the Sisters Don't Want You to Know
Let me tell you white girls something that sisters don't want you to know. You know what would kill a black woman? To get beat up by a white girl.
Dov Davidoff: Puerto Rican Names
I didn't know you could name a Puerto Rican 'Israel' 'cause I'm pretty sure you'll never meet a Jew named 'Puerto Rico.''
Judy Gold: Knowing Who's Jewish
Jewish people can look at people's faces and tell if they're Jewish. It's a phenomenon that we have that we can't explain. It's just like black people: black people can pick out the black people in crowds; Jewish people can do the same thing.
Pablo Francisco: Spanish Soap Operas
The women are very beautiful, and they never cry. It's always the men who cry.
1 black brother plus 1 black sister equals 6 niggger's on welfare